The beginnings of the American Revolution, simplified
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
Posted: Tue March 5th, 2013 at 2:20pm
Originally posted by anomalousdata.

60917 Notes


  1. ne-patriots14 reblogged this from ne-patriots14
  2. justcallmejakey reblogged this from mewlingquim00
  3. angelique-across-the-pond reblogged this from converseandbowties
  4. just-a-souvenir-shop reblogged this from anomalousdata
  5. iowaneagle reblogged this from c-spookle
  6. purpleninjaelf22 reblogged this from loveholic198
  7. brandonsaad reblogged this from stilldontmeasureup
  8. colorwheels14 reblogged this from mrv3000
  9. kyvelli reblogged this from marchesamedici
  10. mooseandsquirrel1967 reblogged this from derpy-slurpie
  11. derpy-slurpie reblogged this from spoopy-librarian
  12. spoopy-librarian reblogged this from heronfem
  13. fudgie-turned-less-of-a-fudgie reblogged this from killingmewassootwoyearsago
  14. now-you-don-t reblogged this from spooky-angelofdeath
  15. youknownothingjohnwatson reblogged this from adelindschade
  16. punk-rock-gutter-whore reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  17. martellusvonblitzengard reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  18. ximajs reblogged this from ellipadd
  19. thefuqbruh reblogged this from magicofyouth
  20. magicofyouth reblogged this from jellylovesdoughnuts
  21. opal-empress reblogged this from adelindschade
  22. nothingbutalostgirl reblogged this from adelindschade
  23. adelindschade reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  24. jellylovesdoughnuts reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  25. clockworkwatch reblogged this from deanismydemon
  26. onemorefag reblogged this from crazy-suicidal-headcase
  27. crazy-suicidal-headcase reblogged this from whataboutramonaflowers
  28. lordbayatmortilaufeyson reblogged this from carkidsagainstmajorminus
  29. carkidsagainstmajorminus reblogged this from greenroom07
  30. heronfem reblogged this from novakian