bartended a wedding last night, one man said “has anyone told you you look like a young johnny depp?” my boss laughed since johnny depp is my nickname, the guy tipped me $10, then several minutes later another random guy said the same exact thing. then a few hours another guy said that everyone there was talking about me, saying the same old thing then i made a butt load of tips. satisfactory night
"why are these scientists talking about pluto when they should be curing ebola" because they’re astrophysicists not molecular engineers or infectious disease specialists you’re getting mad at the wrong people
*walks into Starbucks and violently shakes the barista* LOOK WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A NEW BED FRAME THEN????